Good evening ladies and gentleman.
First of all i need to apologize for the recent dramatically shocking way these posts have been scheduled. Trying to combine all the stuff that goes on in my life (work, family, general necessary things) can make the time i cut out to write seem virtually non-existent. All i can ask is that you stick with me, i’m trying as hard as i can to get myself together and make the writing on Thinking Evolution more consistent.
Nonetheless, let us continue. We have been working for sometime now on insecurities, what they are, what they mean to us and the lengths we will go to in order to not have to deal with them. Furthermore, we have been trying to figure out how to overcome insecurities,something that seems to be grounded in knowledge in what you are striving towards, what is the end result of you overcoming this obstacle and perhaps most importantly, to never stop believing.
However, a recent conversation with a dear friend of mine got me thinking. Its not that there is another stage (to me) to overcoming insecurities, but what are the obstacles that stop us believing, in “knowing your why?” Regardless of what i write, how i try to explain insecurities and what we must do to overcome them, you may have attempted to overcome your insecurities through your own ways before, with varying degrees of success.
If you have faced that battle, won that fight and have overcome something that previously had a potentially crippling effect on the person you always wanted to be, all the more power to you. I hope you feel you can share how you felt about that journey on here, then maybe as a collective we can help each other. Still, there is always the possibility your hopes of overcoming an adversity on the scale of your insecurity, overcoming our single biggest critics, ourselves, could come through.
Nonetheless, what about the other end of the spectrum- what about if you try to overcome something that unsettles you, that you spend so long avoiding. You convince yourself that something needs to be done, only for whatever reason things don’t go as expected, or even planned. This generally leads to a terrible state of confusion, fearfully, frantically looking around for what went wrong. This is where the danger can come in, because if you cannot figure out the error, cannot find a way of rationally overcoming the problem, which means you can overcome something and live your life without that limitation, we develop an incredibly irrational way of thinking. If we step out into the unknown, only to be shot down within a moment without a reason why can lead to a very self destructive way of acting, and possibly more importantly, thinking.
What is this self destructiveness? What does it mean? Why do we do it? When we get to this point- this overflow of everything just getting too much that we implode, what do we do? Everything. We do…everything. We jump about, doing things we know wont mean that much, buy things and do all we can to enjoy them. Party, drink, drive fast cars, meet shallow women, meet shallow men, do all we can to fill our minds with distraction. “i don’t care- this is what life is really about” can often be the thought of the moment. That problem, that fault somehow seems to have a way of resurfacing though, its unresolved nature making it difficult to ignore.
However, throughout this new destructive lifestyle of ” i don’t need that” we can wind up a lot further back than we ever thought. Take the desire we strive towards and the steps we take to get there. Something happens, and rather than re grouping, we wind up back at step 1. Which oddly enough, can make it very difficult for anything to happen. We push this self destructive way of thinking, as hard as we can, because we missed something.
Why do we do this? Why do we apply these self destructive attitudes in certain situations? What are we hoping to achieve?
It would appear the insecurity is infinitely more complex than we may have ever considered.
Yours truly, DR.
Random motivational image