My “Happy” Place

Good evening ladies and gentleman.

So the quiet. Dam the addictive, wonderful, serene peace of the quiet. I often think its like a drug of sorts, because once you’re in one of those rare moments, the moments where we don’t have to be anywhere or have a schedule to keep to, you are left with a unique feeling. In a way, i guess you feel free.

Whether I like it or not, the constraints of life make it an impossibility for these moments to last forever. If they did last forever, it seems to me they would lose that wander, that “magic” that makes them so utterly wonderful in the first place. Yet, when these moments are gone, when the modern day necessities of life takes a tight grasp on these feelings and we crack on working, rising and grinding to achieve those dreams that we lust after, I don’t know about you, I almost miss them. The complexity of modern society and all the hectic running around means it can feel like they don’t happen very often.

Granted, writing “Quiet” and this did get me thinking more about previous moments like this, but what are they? We know they feel wonderful, yet how do they come back? We can’t manufacture these moments, for they would lose what makes them so brilliant.  It can often feel like living in those moments, thinking about the past that was so amazing is the best thing to do, even though we all know how unhealthy “living in the past” can be. We are aware there is an expense of living in the past, for we could miss out on the brilliant things happening right now, along with the potential we could create for the future.

Yet, regardless of this, i still miss them. This desire to come back to this feeling means that i think we create an alternate version, a more comforting version of our world. It seems as if its something we imagine ourselves falling into when we feel like we are losing control, when the world is beating you down and its only getting harder to get back up. This, i think is what should be considered our “happy place.”

We don’t know this is a happy place when we mentally wander off there. The only reason i realized such an idea was even plausible was after my “wandering off” into the park, because even though i didn’t realize it at the time, the feeling was familiar and something i think we are all remarkably aware of. My happy place is far away from anything, with a house a million miles away from anyone or anything other than trees, hills and mountain passes. I have a car to drive through the hills, with nothing other than myself. At first glance, it could be argued that the purpose of this happy place is to avoid thinking about reality that we just don’t feel like dealing with, given the fact we are essentially going to somewhere in which we are totally convinced will only ever make us happy, rather than facing the situation that we feel could cause us harm, regardless of the potential result that could come if we work at it could make it as fucking fabulous we imagine it could be.

Is a happy place us running away? or is it something different? It makes sense that we are running away, but maybe we are simply taking a step back, trying to see the wider picture of a problem or reality that we are in during this particular cycle of the day. This way, through seeing things from a fresh perspective, we may find a way of attacking the problem from a different angle, subsequently leading to both the result and the journey towards it being much more positive.

I think we all have this mental idea of a “happy” place but if we are running away from something, we are missing out, which makes us feel bad, which is why we were running to the happy place to start with. This form of “escape” isn’t supposed to be permanent, but is in fact supposed to aid our clarity to understand who we are and what we want.

This “escape” is a place of comfort and a place we feel can make us “happy,” even though we remain alone in our little world, something we know makes us feel anything but happy. I have written a number of times about how good we are at being alone, regardless of whether it makes us happy, more interested in the desire to not be miserable. It seems like we have our little world and the “happy” place that we have contained within it is a very solitary place, a place to think and regroup, to come back at something fresh with knowledge and understanding. Other people don’t really come into our “happy” place though, because they are unpredictable and could mess up the delicate balance we have worked so hard on.

The point is, in the reality of these moments of peace and quiet, the real life “happy place” is a much different affair. I have a vivid memory of driving around with my best friend in the sunshine, music blasting, open road, no need to be anywhere, just enjoying the simple moment of right then, being in a wonderful moment with someone i love dearly. It was utterly beautiful and few things have ever felt like that. Yet our minds in comparison remain so solitary. Why is that?

I think as much as these “happy places” have evolved over years of experience and growth, they have remained very singular places. The point where we find comfort when we feel like the reality of the world is easier avoided than dealt with has always left you alone, its just part of the story line. We live to this, even though certain people in our lives have a profound effect on us, with moments that make us feel just as good as that “happy” place ever could, even if we don’t realize it. So why do we ignore this? When the reality is that the wonderful people in your life can have more of an effect than we could ever imagine.

What is your happy place? Do you think we are running away to our happy place- or taking a step back? Why is somebody’s happy place usually solitary- when in reality it doesn’t seem that simple?

Love to hear you opinions, as always.

Yours, with love as always, DR.

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