Good afternoon ladies and gentleman
It’s interesting, this new perspective i find myself with. I am learning more than i could have ever expected or hoped through any medium of my life, in being prepared to accept and do everything i can to understand, respect and enjoy the world around me. To live without limits, as best you can in a moment, happy just to be there. The darkness that led me here often felt all encompassing. Yet- here i am.
Its because of this progress i feel I have made within myself, as a man, or even as a human being, i find my wandering about the idea of something or someone being significant in my life and in contrast to ideas or people that are arguably insignificant.
It’s without question a powerful insult and rather unnecessary for me to call any person in my life, past, present or future insignificant. I wish to concentrate on ideas, possessions, or relationships where the significance argument is interesting.
I have been wandering about this modern day idea we have of “Kings and Queens.” We have what seems like a strange fixation to be perfect, to be the ultimate version of ourselves all the time, regardless of whether its in the good times or the bad times, to be the “King” of our world, or perhaps the relationship you find yourself in. It’s not something we have learnt, something more i think we have witnessed in society.
When we are bought up witnessing this dominant warfare that is commonly disguised as a relationship, an argument or even a conversation. It has a powerfully awful capacity to alter how we see the world and in particular see relationships. Look at the damaging effect the ever increasing access and usage of internet porn is having on the lives on a lot of people, dressing sex up as some powerfully dominant based behaviour, creating environments from men and women “we should all aspire to be.” It creates a false standard in sex for women in that men are expectant of the women they are attracted to to walk, talk and perform as they do in porn, along with the intense pressure put on men to perform to this required “ideal.”
This problem i think falls out throughout all of relationships, how if the man doesn’t drive the right car for his “queen” or she doesn’t have the right interest in her job or doesn’t have enough time for her “king” and so on. We seem to have all been born with a difficulty to communicate, out of the fear of what the other person is thinking. Yet, rather ironically, most of the time, the person on the other side of your relationship is so worried about what you’re thinking they aren’t really doing anything. So this fixation on being your “King” or “Queen” ends up clouding the actual connection and chemistry in the relationship. It’s almost as if the ideas or feelings that gave it life in the first place are rather left by the wayside.
Left by the wayside as we all are lulled into the belief we should be sailing away on a golden yacht.
Now, don’t get me wrong, i know every connection and idea everyone makes aren’t all fixated on the aspects of life so seemably insignificant the relationship itself loses all meaning. Lost to the aspects of life that make you seem like the King & Queen of your life to everyone. We are all so fucking obsessed by what other people are thinking, its almost like we aren’t able to have a bad day without it meaning something.
I don’t like this what feels like a relatively new fixation on “Designer Relationships” for then the beauty of the initial connection is lost. I know that love at first sight means very little in how it’s been over used and dumbed down over the years, but if anyone was to meet someone they click with, it could easily be lost as quickly as it was found.
Surely it has the potential to mean so much more, yet we spend so long thinking “thats not what I’m supposed to do,” that he or she doesn’t want that- they want a “Queen” and me to see them as the “King.”
How would we know though? We spend so long listening to the masses of people who believe we know how we should be living our lives, how we should think or feel and even how we should love. The way you are in a relationship, it doesn’t matter who you are or who you are attracted to at any given point, is unique to you- if you choose to listen to yourself.
Thats the main struggle i think. The world is saturated and drowning in this idea that you should be working for this relationship- that you should be waiting for your “Queen” or “King-” and that these kingdoms are always going to appear from nowhere. It’s all so rushed. Look throughout history and you will see no kingdom was built overnight, and not by the ideas of general interest or for the betterment of your financial lifestyle.
So forget finding your King, or your Queen. To me, its just going to lead to disappointment when you realise that the world isn’t anything like we are led to believe. This just makes you cement the beliefs of the world as fact and leads you down a path that you “hope” will bring you happiness, but faith never follows you down the same road.
You just have to keep…pushing. Keep pushing not to find the King or to find your Queen, but to find yourself. When you know who you are, truly know what you want to be and attract into your life, you will start to meet the same sort of people and build your Kingdom that way. There is no time constraints on this, you will just know.
You met as two paupers, but together became rulers of your Kingdom, ruling over your kingdom at the Palace of Darkness.
Beautiful- yet terrifying. Do we have what it takes to break through it all?
I hope so. For all of our sakes.
Yours, with love as always.