Right ladies and gentleman run with me on this one.
We often spend a lot of time thinking. About even the smallest of things, to the vast majority of people it will feel totally irrelevant. But we know who we are, and even though we are always told, through our friends and throughout the world, how unhealthy our overthinking is, its a habit we cannot shake. This build up we all feel the need to manage, to work on, to add to all the time rather than feeling the need to deal with it is always there, in the forefront of our consciousness.
I think we allow things to build up because we don’t really understand how to deal with it. A lot of what we do and a lot of what we think about is considered unfamiliar, or maybe “unsettling” is a better word. So we ignore it, manage the issue to a certain extent allowing us to live with the issue without having to actually deal with it . Yet we always have it there, we always feel the need to understand it, to overcome it.
Is it fear? i think it might be, but maybe not in the way we may have initially anticipated. Its doesn’t seem to be we fear something new, a desire we feel the urge to strive towards each day, but a fear of “going backwards.” We live in modern society to the idea of “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” mentality. So we think about what we want from our lives, the needs and desires we strive towards, along with the way we feel about our world in the present, how far we are from those desires and whether we should be going for them at all.
There seems to be a constant battle with what we have and what we want from our lives. We seem so paranoid about not feeling grateful, aware of how much more you have than you may have done 6 months, a year , whatever the time distance and feeling like we should be proud. We should be proud if we feel like we have achieved, but it gets to a point where we feel worried about carrying on- in a sort of “I got to here- i should just try and be happy” sort of thing. While we should be grateful for what we have at a particular point, however we shouldn’t ever stop striving to achieve more. Its this paranoia, this overthinking that stops us, paranoid about how things look, how things might turn out, because you never know “it might not work.”
Even though, even in the smallest of ways, it could work, and it could be fucking amazing.
We have wandered through a lot of different topics in the last few weeks, from insecurity, to self obsession, to the build up of emotions leading to a self destruction- a process that reveals a personality, a side of us we don’t like, because it causes us to feel weak, to feel vulnerable, exposed to the elements of modern life. We fear unfamiliar things because they unsettle us, make us aware that we could lose something, even though this something may not be something we find particularly interesting. So we spend a lot of time judging everything we do, whether its worth the “risk” of changing something, because “I might not be able to handle it.” The basis of this is that we live in a world where we feel the need to assess situations for risk constantly, worrying, thinking. While this can protect us, it can mean that we don’t do anything or feel any form of wonder for a world. This way, we become nothing more than a cog, in a weird, giant, machine.
Weirdly though, we don’t seem to notice this. We are so distracted about avoiding things, thinking and considering every little detail about every tiny detail of life so we can predict 4 or 5 moves ahead. We seem constantly terrified of not having the “upper hand,” ignoring the fact we often spend so long distracted by overthinking aspects of life that just doesn’t need it, we can often miss so much.
This seems to be where all of the build up comes from. We think about everything, we assess…everything. We feel the need to avoid any form of negative impact on our daily lives, almost as if we are scared of a big shadow following us around. We look for things to blame, ideas and problems that we can mold and manipulate to fit what is rapidly becoming a really warped view of the world. Our almost paranoid attention to every tiny minute detail, assessing the potential outcomes and more often than not, the outcomes that follow that. This way we limit the surprise of something coming out of the blue, so limit the risk of the “pain” and “unsettled” feeling becoming a main part of our conscious existence.
Surely, we were meant for so much more than to “manage” life. We spend so much time overthinking life, we can often forget how outstanding it can be, if we choose to allow it to be.
We are the authors of our own life, yet in modern society we seem so scared to open the page and start writing.
Random motivation picture.