Good evening ladies and gentleman,
I know this probably seems a bit random, but i got so annoyed thinking about this I needed some different way of starting. We argued a few days ago about how we are suckers for the painful things and events that modern life can sometimes throw at us because, even though we feel totally terrible most of the time, something is happening that makes us feel something, which seems better than feeling nothing.
However, seeing this image for some reason infuriated me to my very core. I can’t un-see that image and the words collected together on the blue box, so what are they saying to us? In fact, what is it screaming at every single one of us?
We all have this idea of the “perfect little world” in our minds, from where we live, to what we do for a living, how our family are and even what we drive. We think about this a lot because in these modern times this is supposed to be our “ideal.” However, i argue this has made us all incredibly naive and narcissistic, as we spend so long miserable and confused about how we “feel” at this particular moment, we miss the other things that are going on. A good example of this, i think is the idea of a relationship. So…
You’re living in your perfect little world, and then someone comes in and is part of that world. “Great, nice to meet you, find your spot” etc, etc. However they don’t sit still and in no way fit in the way you were expecting. However, so what? its not as predictable as we were expecting, but we go with it, the individual brilliance of people is what makes them worth the effort.
You get to know them and so on, but something remains. The way you feel about them and more worryingly the way you feel when you are with this particular person is wonderful, yet doesn’t make sense to you. It doesn’t fit your little circle, it in fact tries to smash your circle to bits with a sledgehammer.
Now of course we don’t want to have to deal with this confusion, even though it would be particularly beneficial. Regardless of whether its a relationship opportunity, an event in your life or in business, emotion based decisions are practically impossible to deal with with any level of rationality and sense. Yet we still persist, even though we are fully aware of this issue. Emotional problems make us incredibly self- centered, so worried about what we are thinking, scared of what people might think, how that person may feel, wondering whether they feel the same way. We end up so wrapped up in knots over our own thoughts and feelings, we miss what is staring us in the face.
The general idea to what Behrendt is saying, in my opinion is if they aren’t putting in the “simple effort to put you at ease…doesn’t respect your feelings and needs.” You care about this person, or this thing but you end up so concentrated on the way you feel it can mean you miss out on something outstanding. Being self obsessed on the way you feel is almost a form of disrespect to the person you harbor this confusion for, or the event that you feel like would be a life affirming experience. You end up not doing something for that dear friend of yours that means so much to you, as to you them, which means the entire dynamic of the relationship changes, arguably in a negative way, while you sit wrapped up in your own bullshit.
It bothers us something upsets our perfect little world and our constant thoughts about how to get to that “higher” level, yet through respecting that situation or how that person makes you feel, while in particular being aware and maintaining that respect you had for that person before this “issue” surfaced- then maybe, surely, something good could come of it? So you don’t understand, which is arguably a bad thing. However, this feeling or this person makes you feel good, powerful and capable, so why concentrate on the negative aspects and risk losing something you find outstanding, because you were too busy concentrating on your supposed perfect world?
Something worth considering.
Yours, you outstanding people. DR.