Good evening ladies and gentleman
Over the last few months, i have thrown around ideas about all manner of things, making often increasingly elaborate points about the never ending complexity of your mind, the people around us and the forever changing society we live in. In our most basic form, i have always believed we are goal orientated in nature. Now i admit just writing that like its nothing is a little simplistic in its explanation of all behavior, so if you remove “goal” from the phrase and instead replace it with the word “dream.” To occur in “dream orientated” behaviors changes things dramatically and is where our latest little mental adventure comes to fruition.
I like to think we all have dreams, ideals of a bigger future than the current situation you find yourself residing in. Whether you are happy, miserable or indifferent of what is going on in your present, you always need to keep moving, that’s a good thing when combined with a healthy respect of where you’ve come from and forever where you are in this present moment. What of the higher dream though? Beyond dreaming one day to own a fancy car or a big house, what is the difference to you, to doing “good” and reaching that next level- and then the one beyond that? These are the dreams that i think always seem confusing in that these are the the ideals that seemed more consigned to the darkest depths of your imagination- rather than the realms of reality.
The details always seem so perfectly placed as you imagine this ideal and strive towards it everyday. Although this potentially brilliant effect of your dreams and the journey you go on to get them can feel so long. There are times when everything you have ever hoped for, everything you have ever dreamed off can seem so far away, as you work so hard for it, grafting day in, day out. Even in the relationships we forge, i think its very easy to become emotionally distant, for the fear of “feeling” is so powerful, the idea of not knowing which way this game of life is going to go that while its far from what we want, far from what we consider being “happy,” it seems a “necessary evil.” Everything seems so far away these days, to the point where it can be hard to stay motivated to keep going, to keep trying, because all of the hard work, all of the dedication “doesn’t seem to be doing anything.”
I have, more often than i would like to remember had this idea cross into my current frame of thinking, for being distant, while no way to live, means disappointment, pain and the intense way of negative thoughts and feelings never even get the chance to flow, like a virus that every time i get infected becomes stronger and every time it can get harder to find the cure.
I noticed a pattern in these thought processes though, in particular during the times when i was experiencing the urge to be as far away from things that matter to me as possible. Its when things felt so far away when I feel “stuck” in an endless cycle of repetitive and dreary behavior dragging my belief in life and love down into questioning the nature of everything i believe. I would find a strange comfort in this though, as i could avoid the anxiety that comes with the thoughts of never being good enough, clever enough, nice enough, sweet enough, caring enough or loving enough to achieve “overall victory.” When you feel like everything and everyone is so far away, it can become very easy to become convinced about that the distance is all you need to be happy and fulfilled, even though this is far from the reality of the situation.
How do we go about maintaining motivation then? How do we keep driving ourselves toward that ideal, towards the end of the “quest,” to whatever dream you wake up to, the dream you always have on your mind. To that eventual end where the curiosities and changes going on in your life could bring about your Thinking Evolution, that could bring you up to that higher level in life, that version of yourself you have believed for so long will remain forever dormant in the deepest darkest depths of your imagination.
Cut down the distance. I think realizing how far away things and people seem can be an incredibly intense, scary thing to experience, meaning we want to almost disappear, to revert to type and not worry about “putting yourself out there.” If this problematic “distance” is cut down dramatically then its not quite as daunting, in that we can be happy for the victory we have experienced in this present moment of brilliance, as life, love and perhaps most importantly you, have dropped onto this opportunity. Now there are two things we can do with this chance encounter, this brush with the way we want life to be. You could watch it happen, going on living in mental comfort but without any progress towards your dreams and ideals for fear of not being able to control how you feel, or embrace it.
Take a random thought i had driving around this afternoon. I imagined myself sat on a remarkably picturesque beach with the tide coming in, as the sun slowly dipped by the horizon with the sky bathed in the deep orange glow, with the waves crashing softly against the cliffs and lapping around the edges of a beautiful classic grand piano. I find myself wandering up to the piano, water and sand flowing between my toes and as the glow of the evening fell away to the inky blue darkness of the night, the stars shining brightly as my date with the moon drew on and i would play. Its quite a nice image to have, because i feel like this would be a remarkable experience.
I should probably point out, i cannot play piano. I can just about string a scale together frankly. To sit here and think only of this is daunting, for on its own it feels like it may never happen. Yet, a small victory towards this bigger ideal and making this, admittedly strange dream a reality, would be to get lessons in how to play. This puts me on the ladder towards the top where my beach dream lives. While admittedly a strange example, but taking steps to becoming the person you want to be should be treated as meaningfully as the final victory itself.
This way the moments in your life that can sometimes seem so fleeting can fill you with such joy as fiery passions are set alight and another incredibly wonderful part of your life begins. For every victory is important, no matter how small. The small victories helping towards the bigger victories should in a way make them mean even more to you, as a sign of progress, that your time and effort is going to a good place. As more and more victories come, more moments of beautiful wander occur in your life and you become more and more of that person you imagine yourself to be, with the lifestyle you imagine yourself to be, resulting in something remarkable. Living.
Surely, any victory, no matter how small, should be worth that.
Yours, with love as always.