Good evening ladies and gentleman
Truth is, when i first started this, all of this, thinking, whatever it is becoming, i was 16 years old- which feels like a lifetime ago. It has evolved to become Thinking Evolution, but as what is over six years has passed, i have realized how very little i know, and how much i have to learn. In the grand scheme that we all know as life, i don’t think we really know anything. Knowing and learning is very different, for learning is the constantly shape-shifting mystery you can’t predict with any real accuracy.
I’ve probably said this a number of times before, but if you don’t go to bed at the end of each day having learnt something, however big or small it might be, i question why you, why I bothered getting up, because you’re no different to when you went to bed the night before. Always learn, about yourself, about others, about those you care about, those you like, those you love. Then you are being a person, in the world, who wants to simply evolve, for the betterment of life. I find myself more questioning and curious about the ideas of our world and the society we live in. I find myself scared i guess that the world is against your evolution, my evolution. The world has so much beautiful wander and brilliance at its heart- in all of us. But on the flip side thew world can cause so much pain, to the point where it seems like doing “nothing” is the only way to stop the bleeding.
You get up at the same time every morning. Ring Ring goes the familiar chime of your alarm, as you pick your heavy head up from the pillow where some beautifully euphoric dream was just gaining steam, now nothing more than a memory and within 5 minutes destined to be nothing at all. You stagger to the bathroom, still groggy and not fully awake, run you hand through your hair as you stare yourself in the mirror.
You’ve never understood why you do this. You find yourself staring into the dark abyss of your own pupils, lost in the depths of what lives behind your eyes, what you fear, what you want to be, who you want to be, who you love. You shower, change and rush downstairs, shovel in some of the same cereal you probably had yesterday and get to work, for the jobs you were doing yesterday “aren’t gonna finish themselves.”
…and so on and so forth. Now it is far from me to say whether you enjoy your job or whether you even enjoy your life to any certain degree, but work is going to take up a lot of it. Throughout these periods, from the waking up between Monday and Friday with your head feeling exponentially heavier as the sun comes up to the same mental familiarity of yesterday, as you get up to make that same trade you have been making for longer than most of us even realize. We earn money in our jobs, and the money allows you to buy things, but we aren’t only just making money, we are trading time, trading a part of us.
That’s what i’m stuck thinking about recently. I think a lot of people- myself included, don’t really think when at work, just do. You have the same collection of thoughts everyday, you get up, you go to work, do something remarkably similar to what you did yesterday, go home and eat some food for the primary purpose of not being hungry, watch the next show of the box set you haven’t been really paying attention to anyway and drift on back into the dreams that as the world continues to spin seem so much more inviting.
In terms of thinking, to me, something has been lost. To have a new idea, to create something beautiful, to be something amazing, to be more than your body, a sum of your parts, to truly be a soul that lives with a body rather than the other way around has become almost dream like, which may explain why spending so much longer in a dream has been starting to sound more appealing. Whether it’s been lost in me, or i’m not the only one thinking about this, between everything going on, i have started to wander what we are all working towards, what’s the point of it all, the same consistently dull thinking pattern creating a feeling of remarkable nothing.
What if we changed the game a little? We are always going to have to do things we don’t want to, for sometimes there is such a thing as a “necessary evil.” However i question that what we do, whether we have to or not, should be able to dictate the way we think, because we become what we think about. So if you think in the same cycle, misery and inevitable failure being a constant fear, a belief that this is the only inevitable result so why should we even try, then surely this would be the result. “We become what we think about,” so what if we lived life not in the cycle the world has us convinced is the key to it all, but what if we found another way.
If you were to go out tomorrow and steal a car (stick with me,) the chances are more than likely you would be chased by the police. At this point, your speed would increase and the idea of being in “control” would be diminished dramatically, for obvious reasons. Take this idea and look at your life in the same way. What if we could live life to the fullest point where something simple has the potential to be truly fucking outstanding, every single time.
Why not kiss someone like you never want to kiss anyone else, hug closer and tighter to the point you never want to let go, fuck like its the last chance you’ll ever get to, love like you will never need to again. No living life to half measures- live like everything is beautiful and appreciate all the brilliance the world and the people in it can offer you. Live your life glad to just be a part of it all and smile, make everything you do not because someone deserves it, or because you deserve it, but because you want to. Don’t force life for this is like guaranteeing disappointment with a side dish of misery. Live your life as you see fit, go to new places, try new food and be mind blown by the ability of music to sway your emotions to cry with both sadness and beautiful joy. What other people believe is nothing more than that and if they try to poison your brilliance with their cynical ideologies of “reality” then that’s their problem and not yours.
The world is so far from perfect and so are we, but if we can live like we choose to be with people we care about and people we love then maybe, just maybe, we get to live our lives as close to perfect as those on Instagram and Facebook would have us believe. Forget the daily thought process. The daily thought process doesn’t let you live a fulfilled and beautiful life, all it does is elongate your existence.
Drive life like you stole it, be it a moment in time, a snapshot that was so beautiful it could never be repeated, where you were just happy to be there. Live for that- for life is too short and time is way too fast. Then maybe we can be happy-
Truly fucking beautifully, brilliantly happy.
Yours, with love as always.