Good evening ladies and gentleman
So we were considering desire, and what it means to desire something, to need it more than you want to breathe, to the point where you yearn for it, as if you feel physical pain without it- this thing, this person or this idea. This thing that sometimes none of us really understand, but know how amazing it can make us feel. Seems like a very addictive thing just to run towards that.
However, as i mentioned, it really isn’t that simple anymore. The “don’t worry about me” mentality is alarming, because of our “people” issues, the desire to be liked, or maybe the desire to avoid being disliked? We have an issue with what we desire, worried how people might feel, meaning sometimes we can wind up not really knowing what we desire because we get so lost in this all encompassing feeling that we have to be “liked” in order for anything to be worth it. So we go through life, not really being ourselves and because of this not really knowing what we want, or more importantly, what we desire. In all aspects of life we lose this desire, this lust and winding up doing what we keep us liked, meaning its possible we could have missed out on something so beautiful when we shuffle off this mortal coil.
We end up not being ourselves, instead becoming what that person thinks of us, what they think we want, what we desire. This can in truth, be related to what they desire, as they show this side of themselves to you, leaving you to “jump aboard” and go with this, doing all you can to make sure they achieve their highest dreams, go forth and take hold of their greatest desires.
The risk with not doing this, not concentrating on being liked and going about your life in a way that means you live for yourself, doing what you want and trying to be a passionate, dedicated, powerful and willing person at the same time, is our comfort is always out there, up for grabs. We all have the ability to achieve our greatest desires, dreams and goals, but one false move, one wrong turn, and despair will make its presence known.
Despair is a funny feeling, because it doesn’t really know what it is. Sometimes it will just be there, a niggling itch in the back of your mind in a chest with all the chains you can throw at it keeping it from getting out. However, it wouldn’t really matter if it didn’t get out from time to time, it wouldn’t be despair if it didn’t cause us pain. They are not opposites, despair and desire, i think in modern society one is a direct cause of the other. We all have desires, and i choose to believe we strive for them, be it in life, business or love, because we are all aiming for something. However much we try, the world and the way we are “supposed to live” can get in the way. We battle against it, doing what we can to break through these walls and achieve what we have always desired.
This is where i think despair comes from. These “walls.” Its as if in the early stages of a running towards something we desire, we run towards these walls and smash straight through them, rarely with a second thought. However when you get to that wall, at first looking like its no different to any of the other walls you’ve destroyed. You run at it, maybe lackadaisically at first, expecting it to crumble just as easily as the others have. You bounce right off and land on the floor, shocked, unsure how to feel about something you weren’t expecting to happen. You get up, brush yourself off and go again, nothing. This time you get up and prepare for a run up, intending to throw what you feel is all you have at this wall. Nothing.
You don’t know what to do. You’ve done “everything” and it didn’t work. It’s not feeling good, or feeling bad that despair can really be categorized in, its not knowing. The middle ground which is so much more dangerous, because you hang around there too long, doing what you can to ignore that wall, that thing making you feel bad, like you can;’t do something, cannot overcome it, stopping you breaking through to that higher level.
Despair, as a cluster of emotions cannot really be managed. Its one of the most emotionally charged states of mind that i feel we are capable of, which can make clarity feel like a rarity, its as if we lose motivation for life, not sure how to understand and move on from the reason we despair, confused as we are happy to have this dream, this desire, but at the same time so miserable we can’t just reach out and grab it, not knowing how to breakthrough the things stopping us doing that thing, having that thing we desire so badly.
So we battle on, day in, day out. This fight of positive energy from the hopes, dreams and desires we want so badly to work on, against the negative energy, the feeling that it might just be best to “give up” and deal with the fact this is the way it is now.
Why do we ever have these battles in the first place?
We will conclude next time, there’s more to this than we all thought!
Until next time. DR
Random motivation picture