Good evening ladies and gentleman
I, as do many of you, have good days. Days where the flow is good, as you power through it promotes a mental clarity, as if you’re seeing the world through a diamond like crystal. These days come rarely though, the beautiful gems that they are. More often that not are those…other days. Those days that feel so endless it’s as if tomorrow never comes, the days where the lack of feeling anything, the very emptiness that you’re living in and trying to power through, swallows you near whole.
Even having a bad hour in a day. How does one avoid that bad hour becoming a bad day? How can we make sure that bad day doesn’t end up as a bad week? It’s so easy to spiral, to feel like there is no way out of this endless loop of insanity, that the world is stuck on repeat and there you are stood directly in the middle. Groundhog day.
That is where the ultimate war of contention comes in. There is a battle going on within us all. The war against you. To survive, we must prepare the armoury for the maximum affect as we go into battle. We are so pained by life sometimes and a fixation on that pain will be the destruction of everything you are and everything you know.
But it happens. Its happened to me more times than i care to count, as I’m sure it has you. So, imagine the good and bad was akin to your heart. The beat has slowed to a near crawl, your soul is shrivelling, your mind- exhausted. The world is getting too much and the weight you carry on your shoulders is just so damn heavy. You can’t carry on, you’re not even sure you want to anymore. The game is rigged, and you cant take another roll of snake eyes.
That is where pleasure can come in. When you imagine you may never smile again, the defibrillator of pleasure jolts your heart into movement. CLEAR! Again… CLEAR!
And out of nowhere, from the brink- your back. It can be something as simple as a hot chocolate on a crisp winter morning. You wake up, surveying another nothing day you have coming- get up and start going through those familiar motions. Step out into the day and feel the wall of cold air kiss your face as you see a plume of breath find its way skywards. You have a plan today though, today is going to be different. You get to work, head for the coffee shop. Empty cafe, early morning, nobody but you and the occasional weary commuter walking past for company.
Hot chocolate down on the table, sugar in. Tap, tap, tap goes the spoon as it lands back on the tray. Up to your lips for a sip and that warm goodness, that elixir of life… CLEAR ! That first sip as the cup leaves your lips and you exhale, it’s as if the negative energy is being forcibly removed by hot chocolate bailiffs. In that moment, you are ultimately so very alone, but so very happy to be. The right word for this, as far as i can figure out, is peaceful.
The way something so simple can make you feel, even if only for a moment is the where the battles are won. The solitude, the pleasure, just for a few minutes when something so minimal is giving you so much. These little things, the fleeting moments in time, of pleasure, of wander and stillness in a world moving so dam quickly are the most important. We need these moments, even if it is just to get through one day.
These moments are rare, and so damn special. In that moment, hot chocolate in hand- nothing else matters. You are there with yourself, and maybe, just maybe- you can get through today.
And if you can get through today, maybe you can get through tomorrow.
You get through tomorrow, maybe you can even see out the week.
Because when all is said and done, the little things aren’t the moments you remember, but without them, you probably wouldn’t be half the person you are today. I know i would have given up long ago.
Here’s to you. To hot chocolate. To beautiful moments on those bleak winter mornings. And to getting up and keeping it moving.
This is how life is achieved, truly achieved. Existence is futile, but life has the means to be beautiful.
Yours, with love as always.