Good afternoon ladies and gentleman,
This idea didn’t come from me, to be honest I don’t often feel like this, but its something that can come back to haunt you when you least expect it. Nonetheless, it remains extremely relevant in society today. The idea in question comes from a gentleman somewhere in America, i do not know his name or how old he is, yet the way he felt about himself and his life still remains a relevant point, the idea behind any form of my writing on Thinking Evolution.
The guy was talking about being being alone, somehow having convinced himself he was better off that way. He would try so hard to connect to someone, wherever, be it in a bar, at school, anywhere, to only be “shot down” within the first half a minute or so, leaving another dent in what little courage he had to try again and again until he figured out where he was going wrong. Therefore allowing him to understand what he had to do to put it right.
There is an idea, a thought process in modern society, that we all after one thing, in any friendship or relationship. Looks. If we don’t look like Johnny Depp or Jessica Alba, we think that nobody will be interested, so there is not point in trying, because why bother getting hurt? We all know though, deep down, its not that simple. We think we are better off alone, because we don’t want to be seen as vulnerable, it scares us, to want someone in our lives that matters to us, that we care about. Generally because if we care about someone, or something, it has the capacity to bring us pain. Human reaction is to avoid pain, at whatever cost. Its having the ability to believe in the good, rather than expect the bad, which is where the difference lies.
So we stay alone. We are born alone, we live alone and we die alone, so whats the use anyway? We can’t change it, because each time i try i get shot down, staying in the same place but still ending up a little more miserable, hating being alone, but yet so good at it because of how much we hate being in pain and being miserable.
This guy talked a lot about courage, how every time he would do something, try something he wouldn’t necessarily know the end result of, it would end up coming out negatively, so this is what he expected to happen every time. This may have happened 10, 20 or 100 times, but it always came out the same way. If you do something 100 times and the result is the same every time, then its basic human reaction to expect the next 100 times you try something to come out the same way. If those 100 times caused you pain, then why would you want to go through that another 100 times? To do the same thing over and again and somehow expect a different result? This is the true definition of insanity, to me anyway.
I’ve talked about this idea a lot on here but it still holds value. Just because you failed it doesn’t make you a failure, it just means you haven’t learnt how to win yet. This is relevant to any walk of life, but with friendships and relationship in particular. If you’re doing something in a particular way when talking to someone you find attractive and it turns them off you, for example appearing negative, lazy or arrogant. Nobody wants to be around that, so why would they hang around? Nothing worth doing is painless, there will always be pain, but the rewards it could bring out, could impact your entire life.
The way we act, the way we think, the way we present ourselves, it’s all relevant parts of who we are.
What do you want to be know as? Who do you want to be? Which version of you do you show to the world?
How does this compare to who you really are? Deep down, the fundamental characteristics of what makes you, you?
Until next time.
Random motivation picture