Zombie need Brains

Good evening ladies and gentleman

Have you ever wanted to just watch something ridiculous and tune out of life for an hour and a half? Just literally get to the point of being hassled all day, stressed, hot, tired and overworked… on the edge of snapping at some poor sod who really doesn’t deserve the both barrels you’re going to end up giving them.

Afternoons like that are times to watch zombie films- purely because they are utterly ridiculous. These sorts of movies are never going to win an academy award, never destined to be revered by audiences up and down the streets of Broadway or throughout London for just what a remarkable motion picture “Evening of the Living Zombie” is or mention any Oscar worthy performances by “Zombie 243.”

They are just literally for the purposes of taking some time off from the world thats becoming ever increasingly more stressful. The sights, sounds, seemably constantly fluctuating emotions and endless confrontations over what Carl Sagan infamously referred to as “a fraction of a dot.”

It did however forge a particularly strange connection for me between the idea of the “undead” and a theory developed by the famous psychoanalyst from the early part of the 20th century Sigmund Freud. Think of how many hundreds of zombie related ideas and shows have taken off the ground, even since the dawn of the millenium.Through this you have a good idea of what a zombie is and what its existence entails.

In essence, it’s one thing- survive. How does one survive?-

Food. Eat, and when there is potentially more food, get it and eat that too.

Freud had a theory which highlighted a similar idea in the following of instincts. Instincts are the base formula for our continued existence as a species and without it we would have been wiped out generations ago, no matter the lengths we are going to destroy each other anyway. This, according to Freud, is the work of the Id- a part of your mind that is a slave to these instincts, the part of you looking for your DNA to survive and for you to have enough food to carry on ensuring that DNA is passed on. The Id isn’t interested in risk, the Id will go to lengths most people wouldn’t imagine to achieve its goal.

Hence why we see the pack mentality, and food arguments in the zombie films, the desire to feed reigns supreme when following these instincts so blindly.

Freud continues this theory with the existence of the superego. This the one one trying to fill your mind with fear, with the social constructs and obsessiveness of the modern world. A stickler for the details and avoiding the debilitating anxiety of a surprise. The over-thinker is at home here, understanding these feelings of needing to know everything and driven by the fear of never knowing enough. The superego is fuelled by the self conscious, the media savvy, the one who cannot live with the idea of someone disliking them. Driven by the fear of life, but too fearful to live.

In between these two wildly contrasting theories is the ego, the parent of the two unruly children if you like. One is impossible without the other, the level is the key to what makes you a human being in this modern day and age. The ego is the puppet master if you will, this one pulling the leads on the other two to keep your instincts and obsessive self control in check.

Freud wrote this theory of the id, superego and ego in the early 20th century. Put Freud in front of the world you can see from your phone screen right now- would the theory still stand? Or in many ways, are we becoming more and more driven by instinct? The need to peacock, to show how impressive we are, to display how worthy of continuing this bloodline to the next generation? In the end, as much as the superego is trying to stop you thinking about these instincts…without them- what is it all for?

The more i think about- maybe human beings are all zombies. Maybe what we are just driving for different things, the instincts that drive us have evolved from the need to eat, because for so many of us in this world food, water and shelter aren’t even something we give a second thought for because a store or a restaurant is never more than a few minutes away. Maybe what we strive for is different- as the zombies we have become, acceptance is the nourishment so many of us desire so badly.

So many of us think the acceptance has to come from other people- but most important is to accept yourself. It almost has to be like an instinct. You are who you are, evolution, pain, stupid mistakes, broken heart, dark soul and all.

We feed ourselves to survive. With love, hate, pain, loss, lust, loneliness and green faced envy. These sensations are all a part of you, a part of us. Without them, maybe we are just flesh eating morons…

Yours, with love as always.

D. R x

The Scheme

Good evening ladies and gentleman

It’s very easy to get lost in schemes, ideas and in the “greater good.” I myself have suffered from this hedonistic heroism, this whimsically hopeful, bloody minded pursuit of “when i get there happiness will prevail” and so on.

During a scheme, the only way to succeed is the scheme. In the grand scheme of things, this is all that matters. So much time is wasted in life- preparing for life. Then as Alan Watts famously quipped when you retire you have all the time and money in the world, but a bad back and rotten prostate- so can’t go and do anything.

This idea of existence in order to live, punishing yourself to get to this place of higher power, working endlessly awash with misery believing it will get better and “life can begin.” We all aspire to this idea of living, but not realising the path we forge in order to “live,” in order to be “alive” in the way we understand it- is what gives life the meaning we all crave. The goal is the result of a culmination of decisions, work and self belief to get to that “life.”

Through chasing life, in the grand scheme of things, we are living “life.”

It is undeniable that as a species we are goal orientated, it is our design, it is the game we have all been manufactured to play. Like it or not, we are here, so hating the game is pointless because you are in it. So we may as well play. There is sadly, a fundamental flaw with this idea, a critical piece of the puzzle missing that without this final tiny little piece, the picture will never make any sense.

When you have a goal, it’s easy to want it all to happen overnight. You have to control the whimsical part of your imagination running away and taking you with it. How you are going to be able afford that car, go get that house, afford to go on holiday there, whatever it might be. It’s like i said about saving the world before, the world is full of instants and to expect this to be no different as you stand at the base of the mountain, will lead to that same sinking feeling of familiar disappointment.

One giant leap.

How possible is that ever going to be? Sadly limited to the realms of fantasia.

There seems to be this rather peculiar relationship forming more and more as time goes on between the size of the goal and the level of the supposed satisfaction that will come from it. We believe that if we were to win the lottery or buy a dream car or get the dream girl it will be the most wonderful spectacle. Whatever this huge goal is, the idea of how wonderful it’s going to feel is so alluring, often so much so you are unable to focus on anything else.

So, if these goals are so wonderfully alluring, yet seemably so far out of reach…how does one ever attain this dizzying height of satisfaction? It can often feel impossible to figure out how to get to this “life” and away from this existence we all fear so painfully, into a headspace where life is at a point of apparent happiness.

How does one do it? It is impossible- so in the grand scheme of things, is happiness like the carrot on a string, to a donkey running on a treadmill? Or is there a way?

It is, in my experience- to simply pay attention to the little things. The small, apparently insignificant acts that before went without a second thought. Say for instance a friend sending you a text on a Friday after you’d had a bad few days- congratulating you both for getting through and wishing you a happy Friday. In the grand scheme of that Friday, I started on a much higher ebb because of that person.

That is how those huge goals become a more reasonable reality. She is doing the best she can to be a positive energy and to put as much of that into the universe as she can. One of the most genuine, kind people i have ever met wanting only to share in the joys and pains of the world with you. It probably took her less than 30 seconds to write that text, but it made me smile, which was something i hadn’t done for some time.

Something as simple as cracking a smile seems so small, but in the grand scheme of things it has the power to be remarkably revolutionary. Through this you feel prepared for the long haul, you are happy to live and respond to energy of that calibre, working hard to give as much as you receive in this way. This way you have a group of hard working, genuine, wonderful people wanting only to help each other, not competing, but congratulating as they work to see not only themselves happy, but you too.

This, as i understand the grand scheme of things- is truly living. This energy is fuel for life, to own who you are, what you want to be and who you want to be, to enjoy what you love and work on how to get there. Learn new skills, respect those with more and work to get where you want to be. Learn and teach, listen and love, be a part of the grand scheme of life. Play the pivotal role in your life and then this fear of existence becomes all it ever was.

Just an idea.

And here’s to a smile once in a while too.

Yours, with love as always.
D. R x