Month: October 2017

Good evening ladies and gentleman

I’ve always found curiosity to be a rather fickle thing. Certain people have it for certain things, people, ideas, thoughts, feelings and so on. Between that first moment of thought and until they find the answer to the question, until they understand the conundrum and can find their way through the haze of questionable information, general induction and through this gathering process, we understand more and the curiosity for certain aspects of life will fade away. However, to me, there are certain aspects of life that we are always going to be curious about, always going to want to learn about and develop understanding of- for it gives us more to be.

I have tried the best i can to learn more about myself through the numerous methods deployed since starting Thinking Evolution so way back when, with this hopefully being the start of a lifelong process. You should always try and learn i think, everyday, ask a question, have a conversation, debate, read an article, talk to someone, or even just listen to yourself. I feel like we have forgotten how to do that these days, we are so intent on dealing with so much, living through so much, intent on finding that point, the root of every perfectionist intention you have ever had all because of the temptation the reward of what we believe happiness and success should be. The biggest irony behind that being is that living this way seems like the only way to not find the happiness and success you crave so badly.

What i have found, especially recently, is an uncanny inability to pay attention on my part. I just seem to wander off, thinking about something completely irrelevant or in no way connected to the task in hand, from writing something down to going to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. It just seems like I’m not really all there at the moment. My body remains functional, as does a lot of me mentally, but just not for very long. What’s more confusing is i don’t know where i get these jumps from and never really remember them soon after the event has passed. It would make sense were the two streams of thought contextually connected somehow, but it all seems so utterly random.

I often wander with a lot of what i think about and a lot of what i write about is how much we are consciously aware of and how much is seemably “inevitable,” like its not worth thinking about, or even doesn’t really need your attention because either way you feel like it’s going to happen. Its as if the thought process has become so familiar, a  process repeated so many times we don’t even give it a second glance as it floats by. How much happens to us that we don’t even think about, that we don’t even realize were a bit of that day’s potential to be spectacular.

When you think about it, that could go some way to helping us understand a remarkable amount about the world we find ourselves living in right now, for there is just so much going on, both in the world and in your life too. Things you may do without thinking about, the things you have to take care of- everything is keeping us very busy, regardless of the meaning behind the actions or feelings we are experiencing. Being distracted is the key, because stop and you risk noticing what you’ve missed, the potential for pain increases almost exponentially and when all is said and done it creates a feeling of utter exhaustion, both physically and emotionally.

So, we choose to remain this way, even though its quite difficult to pin down what “this way” really is. I say that though, i wander how much conscious thought goes into remaining as distracted from the problems that we don’t really want to face? You don’t really put much effort into doing as much as you can to not think about something, it just sort of happens without us even noticing, to me anyway. You wander round, even walk to your own kitchen to make a cup of tea, only to return not two minutes later, without a cup of tea, or any recollection you went to make one. This process continues in a remarkable flashbulb moment when you remember what you were supposed to be doing and carry on.

We are distracted yes, but sidetracked seems a much more appropriate word for what I believe this experience to be. We might get distracted, but never really forget what’s happening, making me think its much more of an avoiding action. Even though we don’t seem to think about avoiding things we don’t want to feel, think about or do. Its like we have almost evolved a protective barrier to throw clothes, shoes, this ideal “retail therapy,” consumed by the idea we can do all we can to not have to deal with something, because through this, it might just go away. We persist, again and again, through meaningless connections, things upon things, feelings upon feelings ignored. It will build, it has to. The question then, is what happens when you get to the point where no level of distraction, no amount of becoming sidetracked can help you ignore- when the elephant in the room becomes so large your face ends up slammed up against the window? We are sidetracked in our ignorance of the inevitable, but you can’t avoid things forever. Its inevitable that what your avoiding will find you, eventually.

The question though is this-

What are you avoiding? What am i avoiding?

Yours, with love as always.
DR

Good evening ladies and gentleman

Now, I know I’ve probably mentioned Joker related sayings before- but it seemed like the most effective way describe the point I’m trying to make. So, let us jump into the confusing, strange and wonderfully complex pool of idealized necessity.

Generally speaking, I’ve never taken any pleasure in this modern day issue and idea of doing things because they are “necessary” or for “the greater good.” These beliefs, something that can be both independent and societal in nature are something I believe we all take part in across our lives, dealing with this “necessary evil” at no matter the personal cost to yourself. People often talk about how events, feelings and general happenings of their lives take the form of “necessity.” I spend a lot of time doing things and feeling emotions, both positive and negative that as society has formed and developed around us, would be considered a “necessity.”

What’s more confusing, is that the more i think about it, the less the problem of idealized necessity makes any sense. As weeks turn into months and years, us living to the eternally rotating clock as the sun disappears to the beacon of white light in the moon, I find myself trying to live to a certain mentality, to live for the beautiful, wonderfully unique moments that makes you stand still, appreciate what and where you are. The sort of fleeting moments in time that make your heart feel as if its beating a million miles a minute, the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end as your only thought is how glad, happy and proud you are to be there, in that single moment.

This, to me, doesn’t come without its challenges though. As for years the power of the perfectionist within had a less than positive impact on my mental outlook for life. Rather than living for the moment it was more of a “crappy vehicle- brilliant result” sort of lifestyle, in that the supposed key to happiness and success for life could be found in preparation, doing what was necessary for in the future- things would be “better.” Things were bad now, freaking terrible in fact, but in the end, i had myself convinced things would eventually come good. The whole idea of the “grass is greener on the other side” thing, how the sun always seems to be shining so much brighter but slightly too far away. “Necessary” it was though, or so I was so convinced.

The more I’ve thought about this frankly, the more wound up in knots i have become, until recently when I had rather of an epiphany you might say, a way to explain and understand the point of necessity, idealistic or not. The idea that there are time in life where we must feel or do something that we don’t like, don’t want to do or may even cause us a great deal of pain, misery, sadness, envy, jealousy or unnatural levels of rage is a terrifying thing, alarming because when you let these negative emotions, powers like that into you, they can so easily end up ruling you- and as Earl Nightingale once said “we become what we think about.”

So how do we go about overcoming this? When life becomes clouded in the consistently familiar, bland tasteless brain food that makes you wander why you bothered to get out of bed this morning. What do you do when this cycle, this rut you find yourself is making those moments you live for, the dreams you have, the hopes and desires you yearn for more than life itself end up seeming further and further away. You work so hard everyday, thinking you’re doing all you can to be everything you want to be, everything you can be, yet only seem to be getting so far. When life gets to this point, it can be difficult to find the motivation to stand up out of the chair you find yourself lazily slumped in, let alone pursue life as freely and as purely as you feel you should be.

Perhaps then, understanding is the key? What if we understand the why, the intentions behind certain feelings, thoughts and behaviors that for so long we have perceived as “necessary.” We can choose to let the negativity of modern day idealized necessity drag us to the darkest depths of our own personal hell, to let the ridiculous frivolities life seems to have become so saturated in these days tear you limb from limb, convincing you that you’re art, dreams, lust for life and love and creativity and that all important connection to your artistry is nothing more than insane fantasia- because “how are you supposed to live using that?”

That’s the point! That’s always been the point. Modern society is so convinced that being successful and happy are so intertwined throughout the twists and turns of life- to go forward into life, into a widely appreciated and renowned way of making a living, with good bonus prospects, the company car when you get slightly higher up the chain and if you work hard “you may have your own office in 5 years” is the key to success and because of this success, the supposed key to happiness.

I say we are looking at it backwards. The need for negative emotional necessity in order for your future self to prosper is causing you nothing but more pain, but what if this was a power you could use to make you feel and be so much more than you ever thought you could? You are YOU- independent, free thinking, mentally free, open to opinions, to debate and conversations of life, love and everything in between. Embrace that part of you, the creativist deep within you growing and molding this artistry that means so much and feels so amazing. Do this and it won’t even matter what the world believes in what is necessary or not, or even of this modern day obsession of living a “necessary” lifestyle.

Why? Because we are so much more than a collection of societal based manufactured thoughts and feelings. This issue with necessity should be driving us harder to not have to live the life of necessary ideals, rather than make us want to give in to it. I hope that the fear of that would inspire us, motivate us to truly upset the established order.

Then maybe, we can live for ourselves, for who we want to be in life, love and everything in between, more than whom it has been deemed “necessary” to be or has deemed it “necessary” to feel.

Through this, you truly get to be you. Which, simply put, could be so purely brilliantly beautiful. So upset the established order, and be you.

Yours, with love as always.
DR